Category: Stress

It’s obvious that we are going through unprecedented times. But what isn’t obvious is how to get through those times. We are faced with needing to use two different types of coping skills. First are the problem-focused skills. This includes figuring out the logistics of working from home, developing a plan to balance work and caring for kids, problem-solving financial strategies to manage job loss/ cuts in pay, or creating a new routine for your day, etc. It’s the “doing” part. Unfortunately given the unknown nature of the virus, it doesn’t provide much relief of anxiety.

The second type of coping skill is emotion-focused. This process shifts the energy from trying to fix or solve the problem to allowing the emotions to come in and go out. It is truly the sense of riding the wave and going with the flow of things. This is accepting the situation that we have- not the one we want. So what does that look like?

• Self-care and compassion. Expect to be more tired- your brain is working on overdrive trying to make sense of all of this. This is a good time to practice some kind of self-talk and treatment of your body.
• Try grounding yourself with fresh air and paying attention to your five senses. This will remind you of a time when things didn’t feel so surreal.
• Move your body. This is important because movement helps reset your nervous system. Your lizard brain is trying to figure out if things are safe, so it needs a break from the media for some fresh air and movement to allow your stress hormones to return to normal levels.
• Accept what you are feeling and give yourself permission to allow the feeling to come in and pass on through.
• Think creatively about alternative traditions. Rituals are an important part of our society. They mark significant chapters and experiences and help us feel connected to something larger. As time continues to pass and more things are canceled, the grief over the losses will start to accumulate. This puts us in a catch-22 because one of the best ways to manage grief is through connection to others and that is the very thing causing the cancelations. Rather than dismissing these rights of passage, think of ways these traditions can still be honored in a different way.

I’ve been encouraged by the increasing open acknowledgment of the toll the pandemic has had on people’s mental health. The anxiety of the unknown; the sadness associated with isolation; the grief over lost traditions; the fear of getting sick or getting others sick, etc. I hope that the silver lining in all this is that we take a step closer to de-stigmatizing mental health and normalizing that everyone has times when things are hard.

I did a question and answer session focusing on how to conceptualize the process of coping with the pandemic, as well as specific coping skills to use in managing the emotional response to social distancing.